Crap My Editor Says

My friend Jim edits my novels before I write the second drafts. He's amazing. He's also a little crazy. So I decided that the rest of the world needed to experience his wisdom.

Query Quagmire: Read what you like: Why "Adults should read adult books" is bull

queryquagmire:

What do you think of the NYT article: Joel Stein’s “Adults Should Read Adult Books”?

Here’s the article, if you’re curious.

I think it’s complete and utter drivel from the pretentious mind of someone who clearly has lost the ability to discern any joy or wonder…

I wonder what the author would think of me: a few weekends ago, I took part in an intense Dante seminar (30+ hours of discussion over 4 days), and to keep my hands busy, I worked on sewing some My Little Pony dolls. Turns out an appreciation of the classics doesn’t preclude liking other stuff! MIND. BLOWN.

(Also, if I *didn’t* know the classics, I would have missed the Artemis imagery in the Hunger Games. Reading both is highly profitable!)

Yes, I like to imagine a Martian colony within my lifetime, editor. I can dream, can’t I??? *grumbles, changes date to something a little more plausible*

Yes, I like to imagine a Martian colony within my lifetime, editor. I can dream, can’t I??? *grumbles, changes date to something a little more plausible*

Stop mocking my formatting problems, editor. It’s a rough draft. Also, why are you mocking me in Latin?

Stop mocking my formatting problems, editor. It’s a rough draft. Also, why are you mocking me in Latin?

Thank you, editor, for your insistence that there be more violence in my book. Apparently, the exploration of Mars isn’t adventure enough? (Note: as usual, my editor was right about this. I actually did need more conflict in this section. Still.)

Thank you, editor, for your insistence that there be more violence in my book. Apparently, the exploration of Mars isn’t adventure enough?

(Note: as usual, my editor was right about this. I actually did need more conflict in this section. Still.)

Holy crap...

queryquagmire:

A fellow acquiring editor just showed me an interview in a magazine with one of his authors. The author in question was quoted as saying (to paraphrase):

“I’ve received some good advice from editors while I’m working, but none of it really affects my work beyond minor tweaking. More often I’ve…

Why would an author do this?? I cannot imagine trying to write without my “editor” (he’s not a pro, but a friend who’s VERY good) going over the manuscript. His suggestions make my work so much stronger. Even his ridiculous doodles in the margins help point out associations I might want to avoid, or things I should reword. 

Authors like that don’t deserve to have editors.

Because…dammit. Why must you always point out my chronological inaccuracies, editor??? *grumbles while making the changes*

Because…dammit. Why must you always point out my chronological inaccuracies, editor??? *grumbles while making the changes*

Very funny, editor. But what I want to know now is, “Who edits the editors?”

Very funny, editor. But what I want to know now is, “Who edits the editors?”

So sue me, editor. I like Mars. And Dejah’s a kickass heroine. On MARS. I’m keeping it.

So sue me, editor. I like Mars. And Dejah’s a kickass heroine. On MARS. I’m keeping it.

This…doesn’t help, editor. I’m even more confused now. I think I’m going to only write about women from now on.

This…doesn’t help, editor. I’m even more confused now. I think I’m going to only write about women from now on.

What the hell is this nonsense, editor? 

What the hell is this nonsense, editor?